The exercises for section five are actively reflective in nature. Going through the coursework it seems that they build on each other, leading up to the assignment. This first exercise has asked me to take stock from the whole module, and start to notices preferences and patterns.
I have reviewed all of the sketchbooks I have created for the module, as well as going back over reflections and tutor reports.
Materials and processes
I started by using a notebook to note down all of the processes, materials and approaches that I could recall through this module, KSI and personal work. I then circled those that I think I have an affinity and preference for.
Ink
Pens - fountain pens, brush pens
Watercolour
Thick, sturdy, hot-press paper
Square sketchbooks
Linework
Digital vectors mixed with texture and line
Digital watercolour
Quick reportage
Thumbnails
Storyboards
Understanding things - research & planning
Digital textures & masks
Animation
Sequential illustration
Exercises and disinclination
Next, I listed out every exercise and research task to date, taking the time to do so from my learning log as to remind myself of each and every one. The exercise asked me to draw a skull and crossbones against the exercises (or processes) that I didn't like.
Honestly, I think the only exercises I have had very strong negative feelings about have been ones in the future, Exercise 5.2 and 5.3 (I will discuss why in those exercises). For the most part, I have been able to enjoy something out of everything I have done. OK, maybe not always enjoy - but I have been able to take something away from everything. I get a lot of satisfaction from learning and personal growth, which is why I appreciate all of it, even in a small way.
So I have chosen to use the word 'disinclination' instead, these are the exercises that I took something away from but didn't have the same kind of emotional connection to:
E1.3 - How personal do you want your sketchbook to be? I really think there are distinctions between sketchbooks, visual journals and personal journals and I react strongly when asked to blur those lines.
E1.4 - Artists' sketchbooks. I find it difficult to come back to old entries to add more, so I end up feeling guilty.
R2.0 - Sophie Peanut
E2.0 - Rapid Sketches (specifically the 'still life' part)
R2.1 - Lucy Austin
E2.4 - Drawing with teabags. This was too similar to a mark-making exercise in KSI, but not nearly as fun as that one was. I found it quite frustrating.
E2.5 - Journey Scrapbook. I am really not the scrapbook kind of person. I don't tend to accumulate that kind of ephemera naturally, so I had to specifically had to plan that exercise. That made it feel contrived.
E2.6 - Pareidolia. Whilst I enjoy the effect literally every day, when forced to do it for an exercise my mind immediately went blank, meaning what should have been an abundant exercise became painstaking.
R2.2 - Christoph Niemann and Saul Steinberg
E3.0 - Observation and topography. Choosing the wrong medium to do the sketches made this exercise really unenjoyable at the time.
E3.5 - Free association. I just don't doodle specifically in sketchbooks very much, so being 'forced' to do so again took away some of the enjoyment for me.
R3.5 - Visual Research
Looking at this list, I find it striking that it's concentrated in section two. This doesn't surprise me at all. There also seems to be a theme in those exercises where I have to research a specific artist or group of artists. My research has been some of my most developed learning log work. It's interesting and confusing to me that I seem to have strength in doing and writing up my research, yet am left feeling ambivalent towards it.
Again, my intuition tells me that this is because the artists have been selected for me. Whilst I appreciate structure in order to focus my thoughts, I hate been told what to do! I wonder if my feeling towards this kind of work would change if I was more in the driving seat? Based on my tutor's feedback, I can do more to think about what I am going to consciously take from artists I look at. This might be an avenue for some additional work.
Words of empathy
The coursework gave me a table of different adjectives and asked me to tick those words that I most empathised with. I chose the following:
Narrative
Structure
Message
Fast
Sequential
Imaginative
Meaning
Place
Ideas
Reviewing beliefs and opinions
Initial responses
In Exercise 1.1 I chose the following answers:
The Present
Initially I was daunted but [I am] rapidly becoming more comfortable
I struggle with it. I’m still trying to find a way to interact properly with it.
I am always in a rush to try and start out my piece and I feel like my sketchbook is a waste of time.
I don’t love it however it’s like an arm or leg it’s extremely useful I think about what things to include in it etc to show how my thinking developed.
I don’t use it as diary or journal like some people I use it as a tool to progress ideas etc.
It varies depending on my mood. Sometimes I feel like it mocks me, other times it encourages.
Love hate. I get bursts where it is intensive and then bouts of apathy. This is due to long working hours ...
... When I am creatively blocked they stress me out. A full sketchbook is enormously satisfying; ...
... I’m not very faithful. I want to be, but other stuff gets in the way, ...
Hit and miss! I sometimes struggle with sketchbooks and know I should do more.
The Future
The sketchbook as a place for experimenting, to show process and ideas. A place to experiment and not to feel restricted.
It helps me think.
... I like to keep them, but I try not to fetishise them as objects. I’m not precious about them.
It’s a tool that helps me develop observational skills that I am poor at.
... They function as a mirror, allowing me to see what I might otherwise just feel.
I am very proud of it and it is always with me.
I have coloured in red, all the answers that no longer apply or have not come to pass. Additionally, in reviewing the answers in the coursework, the following now resonate:
I feel great joy at flicking through my old, complete sketchbooks, and am often surprised at rediscovering things I had forgotten about.
They are becoming more precious and important for my creative development than before.
The sketchbook is a forgiving space to try things. It’s a safe place [for] imperfection.
If you don’t make mistakes you don’t learn. Nobody is perfect.
I think that I am definitely more confident with my sketchbooks, and the more I use them the more I am taking my time to experiment and use them as tools for divergent exploration. As I am able to be more prolific (than before, at least) I have more things to draw upon, so my sketchbooks have become a catalyst for synthesis. I am starting to understand my own process more as I go, and am getting more certain about what I like and what brings out the best in my confidence.
Tutor Reports
Rather than just think about the feedback in my last report, like my normal reflection posts, I went through each of them fresh. I tried to pick out ideas as well as feedback to factor into any future plans. Here are quotes, ideas and snippets that resonated with me:
Creating a colour theory sketchbook
"Strong sense of place"
"Ink has great potential"
Leaves - do some more light printing
Fluid rapid movement
Figure drawing & expressions
"Ability to defy insecurity"
My life in Oman and Saudi Arabia - the objects, people, places
Time exploring paint
Allow time to develop quirks and personal interests
Review artists, and see how I can 'steal and tweak' to define the direction of my work
Structure and pace of graphic novels
Personal project - explore writing and narrative
Experiments with gouache
More animations
My own digital textures
Some of these will turn into more tangible goals for me to accomplish, I feel very excited and committed to go all-in and push myself. I think it will be useful to go back to some of the previous exercises where I have had to review/analyse the work of other artists, and approach them very selectively to apply my 'steal and tweak' ethos. It's a tenet of my professional work in my day job. I am realising that there is much that I can carry over into my creative work.
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