To start with, I needed a pseudonym. I had been mulling over different options in the weeks running up to the assignment. I liked a lot of them, but none of them really seemed to fit. I thought about having a nom de plume like writers use, but my instincts told me that I needed something more abstract.
While reading a random article about little-used words, I came across the word "spoondrift", a little-used variant of the already little-used word "spindrift". I really liked the way this work sounded on my tongue, it felt like it had energy. When I looked up its meaning, it was obvious that this would be my new identity. Spindrift is the "spray blown from the crests of waves by the wind" specifically, the sea spray during a gust of wind.
It evoked happy memories sailing in my youth, that sharp refreshing sting as the water peppers your cheeks. That is what I wanted to do with this persona, I wanted to be refreshing, elemental and unpredictable. Perfect.
When it came to making work I wanted to cover as much ground and variety as possible in the preparation phase of this project. I set out a detailed grid of stylistic approaches and media. I thought that this would give me the necessary structure in order to move with intention and momentum.
Yeah, that didn't work.
I immediately felt stuck on the first square of the grid. It was the same kind of feeling you get looking at a blank sheet of paper. I tried to muddle through for well over a week. I was getting nowhere. I was practising traditional portrait exercises from books and everything felt wooden and stale.
Then I remembered, I was Spindrift. Spindrift didn't care about doing things the right way, he leans into what his brain is interested in. He trusts himself. I scrapped the plans and asked my brain what was calling. I had been looking at the sketchbook portraits made by Jonathan Edwards. I was intrigued by how he uses string geometric shapes and angular mark-making, particularly zig-zags.
So I picked up my iPad and started to create. I didn't think, I just started! I needed to find a subject to draw. A quick web search gave me a list of celebrities who were neurodiverse (I was of course drawn to those with ADHD). This was perfect, as it allowed me to raise that awareness, to show how you can be successful if you lean into what makes you see the world differently. And to show their own resilience.
So off I went. For the first time feeling like I was actually playing while creating. I genuinely was having fun. The most important thing was to disconnect my overthinking brain. To inhabit my Spindrift mask, and rely on the instinct and choices of that character. To trust it.
And, wow - this appeared. I was thrilled, excited, and nervous. It felt like mine, it felt natural and I had managed to actually get a decent likeness. Spindrift was born!
But it wasn't good enough that it just existed. It only really existed if others saw it too. So I then created an alternative Instagram account, posting this single image. I did my best to inhabit my Spindrift persona, adopting a different tone of voice. Being unapologetic, confident and curious. It was out there, in the world. I used the post's features to tag my subject - Olympic gymnast Louis Smith. When I came back the next morning, I was met with this:
I had already started to prove the psychology experiment! My brain was given reassurance and praise it wouldn't have received unless I had posted the image. I realised that tapping into the persona was a source of strength. I ditched any remaining structured planning. Instead, I decided to give myself some structure by undertaking short courses. I went through what was available on Domestika, selecting courses that covered an aspect of portraiture but also called to me. I decided that I would do each course, and finish the experience with another celebrity portrait.
Given my practical space constraints, I would not be able to create anything in the traditional way. Everything would need to be created digitally. But I wanted to take this challenge on. How could I start to create work which looked and felt authentically traditional?
Experimental Ink Portraits
The first course was Experimental Portraiture with Ink, Tea and Alcohol (Carne Griffiths).
I really enjoyed this course. There were a number of his techniques that I could not translate to the digital realm, but what really took from the experience was the way he freely makes his marks, it was liberating to try and emulate this approach. I leant into it, making it my own. This course will be a good one to revisit when I am able to use physical media again - it was a lot of fun!
I finished the project with a cheeky portrait of the actor Emma Watson:
I was happy to leave some parts unfinished, to play with how things bled into each other. This brings me to an important discovery. How can you play with ink in a digital environment? I discovered a new art-making program called Rebelle. It uses a sophisticated engine to accurately model the physical attributes of media. So inks and watercolours actually mix and run dynamically! I was fortunate enough to find it on their 10-year anniversary. They were selling the app for only $10! I snapped it up and was able to use the effects as part of the portrait above.
I have been drawn to how natural the software behaves, and I have used it almost exclusively for all my other portraits.
Watercolour Portraits
For this approach, I selected the Watercolor Portraits: Capture a Model's Personality (Michele Bajona) course. This was a much more traditional style of portraiture. Whilst it didn't feel like how I wanted to render my final set of portraits, it was chock full of incredibly useful and practical instruction. I really liked how it gave decent exercises to do before the final project.
To start with, I did a tonal study of a skull, it was really useful to explore not only the tonal contrast but also the drawing skills of establishing proportion.
Later in the course, we were given an exercise to complete an eye study, exploring how to achieve not only correct value but also colour. I really enjoyed how this exercise helped me to disassociate the shapes from the notion that this was an eye. To not listen to the shortcuts my brain wants to make, but see what is there. I think it is one of my most successful pieces of watercolour painting. Given the realistic rendering software, I had no safety net except for the undo button, which I forced myself not to use to replicate the real experience as much as possible.
With the exercises completed, I moved on to the final portrait. I decided to depict the musical artist Sam Fender during a concert.
I found layering the watercolour very difficult, trying to get the dept I was after. I think it worked well in the mouth, but I couldn't work out how to get it right on the shirt. It did make me think that maybe I should have thought about the ink course more. I was trying to be realistic with the image, but perhaps less could have been more.
Interlude
As I wasn't able to get to the office for a few days, I didn't want to lose momentum, so while I was at home, I used Procreate on my iPad to experiment with digital pastels. Here is a little study portrait of one of my son's favourite authors, Dav Pilkey whose characters fully embrace aspects of neurodiversity. Dav himself has ADHD and incorporates his experiences into his work. It's very inspiring.
Charcoal
Using the pastels I chose a mid-value paper, so I could explore using light and dark values rather than just going 'down' the values like in watercolour. This inspired me to next look at charcoal, with its ability to be additive and subtractive. I followed the Artistic Charcoal Portraiture: Creating Atmosphere (Sarah Stokes) course. Very quickly I realised that I didn't want to be using charcoal. It felt so heavy and dark, and what I wanted to create needed to be colourful and joyful. I decided that I wouldn't go all the way to the portrait stage, but I would persevere with the exercises. Particularly as this would help me get better at establishing values.
The exercise was another eye study. In retrospect I am really happy with it, when I came back to the image the next day in my folder system, I thought I actually had a random photograph of an eye, and then only realised it was my artwork! If it can trick my senses like that at a distance, then I must have got a lot of things right, especially as I was trying for a photorealistic approach. It really taught me that the brain fills in a lot of information, and I thought that I could start to take this forward in my other study pieces.
Gouache
Often ignored in favour of other types of paint, I really enjoy gouache. One of my favourite artists, James Gurney, uses it a lot and I have learned a lot from his work about how you can use it in a translucent way like watercolour as well as take advantage of its opaque qualities.
For this medium, I started by doing the Stylized Portrait Painting with Gouache (Davi Calil) course. I felt that his style might be too caricature-like for my personal tastes, but I really loved the way he used energy to create his portraits. Instead, I decided to explore how I might use unconventional colours, relying on the correct value to give the viewer the information they need. I ended up very much going with the flow for this portrait. I selected a social influencer in the ADHD space that I admire a lot. As I layered the paint, I had a criminal amount of fun! I loved using the bizarre colours. For the most part, I think I got the values right. The likeness is not quite there, and I got overzealous with the yellow tones: the resulting image is a bit like a Simpsons character with a five o'clock shadow!
And still, Spindrift had a blast creating it, and had no problem sharing the work with the world!
Oils/Acrylic
For my final study piece, I started with a course designed to create portraits digitally: Digital Portraits with a Traditional Style in Photoshop (Daniel Ibanez). This was a really useful course, and I learned a lot about fundamentals, and how to try and make bold marks. To think before you place the paint. I started with exercises that helped me explore mark-making through the constraints of time and then limited marks.
The exercises were also useful as they let me explore using oils as a medium. I haven't used oils since my GCSE art, let alone a digital version! The dynamic engine is wonderful in Rebelle, and it really feels like the buttery paint I remember.
When it came to creating the final study portrait I selected an interestingly-lit photo of musician and actor Lily Allen. I started to construct the image following the approach in the course, but the more I did, the more it didn't feel right. I relaxed and started to incorporate little things that I had picked up in the other studies. As soon as I did that, working on my approach rather than the 'right' approach, everything felt easier.
Understanding the right colours was very tricky, and I loved really looking at the image to understand the colours at play. I hated the white canvas so filled it with a teal tint layer first. Then I decided to play around with palette knives! I never used them during my GCSE Art, apart from maybe mixing paint. I found it so much fun and so liberating to really slap paint down with broad strokes. It really made me focus on the overall tonal areas, and not on details. When dry, the underpainting had a lovely impasto texture. I then moved on to the details, learning again how to work and rework an area. One of the things I really enjoyed was the power of the background to adjust and fix proportions, finding the likeness as I went. I am seriously happy with this portrait. The more I did, the easier it was for me to be intuitive with my marks. I love the bits that are not detailed at all!
I am very proud of the momentum I have built up. Each picture has taught me something, and I think I am ready to do my final sequence of portraits, which I will cover in the final learning log entry for this assignment.
Comments